How to handle kids when they are feeling shy.
“A women best jewelry is her shyness” very well said, but what if that shyness turns them into timid? They stop talking to people around them, stop sharing their opinions, don’t feel comfortable around known ones. We as a parent want our kid to be active, participate in every activity, make friends etc. but what if they are too feeling shy to talk to people? You will get worried and the other person will find it weird too, Where ever it is necessary one must talk and express their feelings. Over shyness is a poison for life.
Shyness behavior is normal, it is very common in babies and children for example: a baby is moving his head, crying in public, avoiding everyone, trying to avoid physical interaction with everyone. This is normal and this happens because they get irritated and wants a comfortable, soft environment around them.
A pre school child may avoid interaction with unfamiliar people, hide behind their parents, avoid joining games in school, doesn’t prefer to make friend, prefer to sit back and avoid the whole class whereas some are very talkative and they talk about a lot of stuff with their teachers and share everything with them. So, there is nothing wrong in feeling shy, every child is different in their own ways, they have different nature, we as adult need to understand this. As an adult we need to work on helping our kids so that they can get rid of their shyness.
Timid (over shyness) is completely different from introvert. Introvert people just want to talk less and listen more but when ever they want to talk they dont hesitate. Introvert people are good listener. Whereas shy people are not confident on themselves and they generally speak to lot with close one (as they feel comfortable and confident) but dont speak much when they come to interact with unfamiliar people or a large gathering of people.
Shyness isn’t something which will go with time, we need to talk to our child to make them confident and comfortable around people. And this we can do by interacting with them at home and try to make them speak poems, dance and sing.
Here are some tips for overcoming shyness which we need to do:
- Take your child to playground and social interaction program, you need to be with your child if he or she is not comfortable, once they start liking the environment around it you should start taking short intervals, for example: sit with adults, sit on a chair and leave your child alone with others for some time.
- Always ask your child whether they are comfortable going to a party with a lot of different people, once you are sure they are comfortable then take them inside and if they are not then asking them the reason and help them with that.
- You need to be confident so that your child can learn from you, and follow your steps and try to interact with people in a better way.
- When someone say that your child is feeling shy then you need to correct them in front of your child like my child take some time to interact with people so that your child will know that you understand them well.
- Try to praise your child when they make eye contact with other people that will give them motivation to do it again with confidence.
- For school going children, encourage them to play with their friends. Playing with friends would help them to gain confidence and help overcome shyness.
- Practice every class presentation and school activity with your child at home, this will help them to interact in class in a better way and will be a good presenter.
- Try to ask your child to participate in extracurricular activities. For example: debates, extempore, sports etc. which will help them interact with others in a better way.
- Increase your child self esteem by prasing them when ever they do something good, this will boost their esteem at its best and they will turn into a more confident person.
- Avoid comparing your child with others specially with the one who participate in every activity, like their siblings and friends. This deteriorate their self confidence.
- So shyness is lack of confidence which come by fear of mediocrity, we have to make our kid understand that we all have god inside us. All are good – no one is better then other – everyone has their own qualities. Never humiliate them in front of other people. If you want to tell them some improvement then we must not tell them in front of lot of people.
Your kid shy nature may ruin his childhood. I have mentioned all the bad effect of your kid shy nature:
- If you want to go out with your child, you can’t go because of his shyness as he will not be comfortable around people.
- Your child may show some anxiety in parties and school which is a major problem as it will affect his academics, it is important for them to speak in class, give their opinion on topics discussed in class.
- You child will feel lonely all the time because of his shyness. He wont have much friends to play with.
- He or she will not answer the questions which are being asked in class.
- He wont like to travel in public vehicle or go to public places, or to their sibling’s place. His relationship with family members will also get impacted.
Well! If you child is just introvert but with confidence then that has some positive aspects too, if your child isn’t talking to much people then he will learn his or her lessons better and will do good in academics, he will not get into trouble, he listens to everything and everyone carefully, and they look after others with more care and be more affectionate with their parents.
If you think that your child is not confident and you are not able to help him in overcoming shyness then you should consider stress management, relaxation strategies, counselling sessions and social skill trainings. You should visit to a doctor or psychologist too.
But “never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak” everyone is different in their own ways.
To develop good attitude in yourself you can read one famous book by John Maxwell “winning with people” you can buy that book at Winning with people
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