Overcoming fear of failure : When ever a situation arise when the stakes are high like: Increment in office, When we are playing some important games like finals of big tournament, During exams or while giving speech on stage, Cooking for a lot of people on some special occasion we all get tensed because we get fear of what if we perform less than our expectation.
When ever we get tensed we are not able to perform with our full potential and this directly impact the result and the worst is some people dont try those things which give them fear of failure at all.
If we see biologically fear is just a negative and selfish thought. For an example during exam as we want good marks (which is selfish) and we are thinking what if i wont get good marks (which is negative thought) this thought only give us fear. So if we will be able to keep all our thought positive and selfless then we will not have any fear. In few cases we are fine with any result of our action but people around us become negative and selfish about not achieving and they send us negative energy that also give us tension and fear. So either our own positive and selfish thought or of people around us think negative and selfish lead to fear.
Our thoughts from birth have been trained by society, schools, and parents that to fail is something about which we should be ashamed. When ever we failed in accomplishing any action then people around us thought negative about it and gave us negative energy mostly humiliating us that we are not good and because of that we also became negative and we considered failure as somethng which is not good !!! Consequently, in growing up we grew more reluctant to attempt anything at which we were unsure of succeeding; our thought became “If I fail, I’ll look like a fool.”
Now how to overcome this negative and selfish thought for overcoming fear of failure:
- Positive Thinking: Now how to keep ourself positive when we fall short of our expectation?
We can easily overcome fear of failure by just keeping our thoughts positive even if they are selfish also. As we always keep higher expectation from whatever we do as selfish being. By keeping higher expectation than what they can achieve at current capabilities they get focus to achieve that, energy to achieve that, commitment to achieve that and with all these they grow themselves to achieve the higher targets.
Now as your expectation from yourself is higher and you will try to achieve that you will definitely fall short. There are all the chances either u achieve it or u fall short or u over achieve. Now we term short fall as failure and achievement as success and over achievement as luck.
2. Learn if you fall short: Actually falling short is very common and all people in globe fall short no problem in that one just need to understand where they fall short and what all they need to learn to achieve the desired expectation. If someone is falling short is perfectly fine but if he is not learning on why they fall short is the problem. One has to analyse why they move forward because when they tried they might have got few success and what didn’t work where they failed. Finally they fall short, with few things worked and few didn’t. Learn from both things which worked and things which didn’t work and again try to hit the target. If u are not learning from failure than that is the problem we must work on figuring out our flaws and work on those to improve ourself.
3. Consistently work toward your target : One can’t avoid falling short it will definitely happen, we will fall short again and again it is just we need to work again and grow with that learning, we need to define how many time we are fine with failing and that is up to us, falling short is not bad one must try and fall short and learn, it is not a bad mark on you it’s good thing because u tried and u learned, and it’s not final that we fall short if we learn and try again we will achieve it. Falling short (failure) is just the price we pay to achieve success.
4. Right mindset about failure – its the task which has failed not the person is a failure : We tend to connect the failed endeavor to our self-esteem. We don’t separate the task from ourselves. “The task failed, so I’m a failure,” we subconsciously tell ourselves. We forget to tell ourselves that there’s no such animal as a failure; no zoo in the world has a caged specimen. Sure, a person can fail at a particular task or project. But a person cannot be a failure. Moreover, a person can fail at the same task numerous times yet not be a failure as a person.
5. Positive attitude: While trying to work on achieving target keep realistic expectation of how many shortfall required to achieve it and keep focus on what u can do not what on you can’t do. More than that keep changing your approaches to achieve the target. Most important is keep learning and keep working towards the target. A man is not defeated by his opponents but by himself so keep working on target and you will achieve for sure. Don’t listen to other who says you failed.
6. Develop Contentment: This understanding that my tries are not failure is a price for success is contentment. Contentment does not mean that we must target less, contentment means we must work hard and be fine with what ever result we get. If we dont achieve our goal then we must think that it is the price for success and just a steeping stone and work hard to achieve our goal that is contentment.
7. Always prepare for the worst-case scenario – When ever we try something there is always a risk and best way to overcome risk is by thinking what worst can happen if you take that step. If we are fine with the worst then it will be easy for us to take that risk. Mostly higher the target then higher will be the risk and then it will be all about whether we are ready to take that worst case senario or not. All great individual make themselves ready for the worst first before taking the risk. In some cases, the worst-case scenario may be really disastrous so in such cases it is perfectly rational to fear failure. But there also may be times when in some cases the worst case may actually not be that bad, it may be your own mind exaggerating things. Your job is to recognize this and tell yourself to calm down. Talking to your loved ones about your anxiety can also help.
8. Have an emergency plan, always – If you’re afraid of failing at something then it is important to always have a “Plan B”, this will not only help you to feel more confident about moving forward but it will also lessen your fear as you will feel more secure and confident. Having a “plan b” helps in overcoming vulnerability to unforeseen outcomes.
Benefits of failure:
Failure come to blessed people because failure gives you following: it develops maturity, it makes you ready to face such failure next time, sometimes it give new opportunities also, after failure you will think freely and might come up with new innovations also, as disruptive innovation are imaginative only, we get sometime unexpected benefits also which we don’t expect, when you are in adverse situation than it motivates you to work hard as you know you don’t have anything to lose as you have already hit the worst.
When ever we start a work first define, why do we want to do it ? what is the purpose of that work?
Once we define our purpose we must finalise our goals which will lead to that purpose.
After finalising the goal we must plan for it.
After planning we must risk taking action. Highly successful leaders ignore conventional wisdom and take chances. Their stories inevitably include a defining moment or key decision when they took a significant risk and thereby experienced a breakthrough.
Next will be welcome mistakes. Mistakes are signals that you are moving into new territory, breaking new ground, making progress.
Now we must reevaluate our progress. Look into what’s working and what not working then learn and adjust.
If some strategy not working then develop new strategies to succeed.
Every time u face mistakes and attempt to move forward in spite of them is test of character. We must persist.
Success is a journey the continual process. And no matter how hard you work you will not create the perfect plan or execute it without error. You will never get to the point that you no longer make mistakes, that you no longer fail but it’s okay.
Now consider: During its experimental phase, Edison’s lightbulb flopped hundreds of times. Did this make Edison a failure? Ofcourse not. Edison saw each failure as taking him one step closer to success. Indeed, because of his attitude regarding failure, he was able to draw on the power of self-discipline in order to persevere. Edison’s experience with the lightbulb graphically demonstrates the absurdity of linking failure to self-esteem. I suppose we could say that Edison saw the light.
To learn from failure we must first figure out what caused the failure, the situation, someone else or self? Then check what happened was truly a failure or did I just fall short means youur expectation was realistic or not? Figure out what success are contained in the failure means what works in your effort, than what can we learn from what happened? Than we must be grateful for the experience because failure come to blessed people, find what all you can learn from the experience so that you don’t repeat it next time and work on your flaws, find out who can help you to solve this issue either by directly helping or teaching you, than take action on what u have learned.
This is the process for overcoming fear of failure.
The following exercise is designed to help you discover your hidden concerns and emotions for overcoming fear of failure.
You will explore three past experiences that you perceived as failures, mistakes, or just dumb behavior. Recall these three experiences from any area of your life: work, love, leisure, etc. The only rule here requires that these situations or events must be the most embarrassing and most humiliating experiences that you can recall.
You will be tempted to take all of these three experiences from a recent time in your life because you still consciously feel their sting. But, do not. Instead, take two of them from your earliest memories. Explore your childhood. This will give you an awareness about how, when, and where your attitudes and beliefs about failure originated.
Like ghosts, past failures haunt us. Indeed, past experiences do affect our present behavior. By writing down your worst experiences, you’ll be giving these ghosts concrete form. Then you can confront them squarely. This will be your first step toward freeing yourself from their influences.
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