How to easily handle a child’s attraction to opposite gender?
We, all lack of sex education somewhere. yes, it’s true from our childhood, our parents are insecure to say this word in front of us, mothers are a bit uncomfortable to tell us about periods but why is this shame? What are the periods? What is sex? What is love? And if it is love then what is infatuation?
All these questions are always there in your child’s mind and if you will not answer them all, then it will be a problem for you and your child as he or she will start to explore and try to find his answers out with the world. It’s not like that he will be stuck to one girl but he will try to explore more to get all his answers then it will be a problem for you on how to stop it.
Being attracted to everyone easily will down her reputation in front of his or her friends as they will start calling him playboy or slut. This is very common in our today’s generation, they didn’t know the meaning of love and gets its idea with little care or physical attraction with someone, and if they get it from somewhere else then it turned out to be their new love.
We really need to educate them to respect everyone’s feeling, but do you think just this thing will stop them to attract easily, obviously no it will not. Well! We need them to learn some etiquettes, behaviour, how to treat them?
We are living in a corporate world and here from our childhood we are living with both males and females, and it is normal if someone had more friendly love with someone and they want to explore it, go on dates and get to know each other better, but this is not acceptable in our Indian society and they didn’t get to know about their special friend which give rise to their feeling to love or get attracted easily towards any other women.
We really need to guide our young boys who get to know the idea of the word sexual attention as we can’t remove it from their mind, all this feeling and emotions are new to them but we can guide them.
We need to talk to our boys about everything and get to know through the changes they are going through:
1. Attraction is a natural feeling, but how we respond to it, is our choice and it is our decision, if you are attracted to your friend and don’t have control on your emotions and just burst in front someone, may it will make them look like a fool.
2. What we see, i.e. where we decide to put our eyes, what we want to look at is our choice and the decision needs to be made by ourselves.
3. What we think where our body goes i.e. how we take our bodies and how we maintain our posture in front of someone, we are attracted too.
4. When we guard our brain, we guard our heart and it helps us to control our actions and save our relationship with that particular person.
We need to guide them about everything which you think is a possibility they might go through, there are a lot more things which we need to discuss these particular topics, being a parent what are your responsibilities and what you need to follow and how you need to handle them.
Pairing up, semi dating and relationships are good but there is an appropriate age for all this which we need to keep in mind, and we need to discuss it with our spouse that how can we handle such situation, how can we initiate a conversation, being a parent you have a right to be concerned, but you need to give a little bit freedom like allowing them to chat on phone for a little bit, depending upon their age you can allow certain rules i.e. they may have a boyfriend but is not allowed to go on dates alone. There should be some guidelines and rules for a child.
Have you ever think of what it meant to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, its just to have a special friend with them you share everything, or we can say more than a friend with which you are comfortable and share all your flaws, but it should be your choice, in this case, peer pressure is the worst, which gets your child in an unwanted relationship and being a parent you need to keep a check on your child to not get involved in such cases.
Your child gets nasty names, if she is caught doing adult stuff, and if a girl having too many boyfriends, and this may sometimes lead to depression or you child turning into another personality. Your child is not mature to handle romantic relationships, there are plenty of emotions from which they go through and it’s hard for them to accept them, boys are so immature that they break up through their friends.
And in all these situations parenting helps a lot, trust me, you know your child the best and you have control on his behaviour and attitude more than you think you have,
1. Deemphasize choosing friends based on popularity – It is important your child knows that choosing friends based on popularity is wrong. It is your job to emphasize this and to make sure your child is in the right company.
2. Don’t interfere without a good reason – Don’t interfere in your child’s affairs unless it is really necessary. Give them time and independence to discover the world and to face everything that comes with it, Help them only if they need it.
3. Encourage them to stand up for themselves – Always motivate your kid to stand up for themselves. You shouldn’t do their work making it easier for them. This will also boost your child’s self-confidence.
4. Teach him how to reciprocate for asking little things – Teach your child empathy and emotional intelligence so that the child knows how to ask for things and to whom they should.
5. Use words that are understandable and comfortable – Always use comfortable language in front of your children, When you use a comfortable tone with your children, they tend to understand what the parents are trying to say.
6. Talk about the consequences – Teach them the consequences of being sexually active at that age. Tell them that each and every action has a reaction and how careful they have to be at that age.
7. Tell them about your experience – If you felt shy about your first kiss or had a crush in your school time, tell them about it. Make them comfortable about talking about such things in front of you, so that you always know what’s going on in their lives.
When a child knows and understands the consequences to each and every action of his, he will think before doing something wrong, It is in the parent’s hand how they handle the situation and how they handle their child’s emotions.
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