HOW TO STOP BLAMING OTHERS AND START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY? 7 POSITIVE SOLUTIONS.
One should know How to read situations in order to blame, Blame can be defined as putting up the responsibility on a specific situation on a person. In order to blame a person, there can be two options, either being evil or blaming others for your mistake. Or you are sure about the blame from both perspectives. “You can get discouraged many times, but you are not a failure until you begin to blame somebody else and stop trying.”
In order to be a good person, one should know the whole situation from every perspective and have understanding for others also. It is very easy to blame others for everything but even in today’s time try to own up to your shortcomings and try not to blame others. People today keep their ego above relations and find easy ways to blame others by hiding their own mistakes which is a very bad habit.
Every relation demands responsibility from either side. blaming someone else for every little thing is the main reason for a healthy relationship to fail. Nowadays people directly start accusing or blaming the other person without listening to them and knowing their perspective which can totally ruin the trust between each other. It will take a lot of courage or guts to accept your problems in front of others and take responsibility for your actions.
Having problems with others is normal, issues are bound to arise in every relationship but only blaming the other for it is wrong, you may be equally responsible for that relation. If you find any issues with others don’t get negative with them or accusing them directly, having a polite conversation with them tell them what issues you are facing with them, the person listening to you will surely understand by this calm behavior.
When you point one finger towards others, the rest four are towards you, so think before accusing others directly. Do not blame or accuse people in the way that you yourself cant handle for yourself, treat others, imagine you could be at their place anytime and what would you have felt if somebody had done this to you in a very rude manner. So, let us say you are a person who blames others, and then you can try these things to learn how not to Blame others and start to be a mature or responsible person.
It is also very important to remain humble. Here’s how you can learn to always respond with humility.
Mistakes are often to happen by anyone, as we all are human beings but it is upon you how you treat the person, do you start blaming them arrogantly or you try talking to them and coming with a solution to get things sorted on a happy not instead of ruining the relationships because of it with others.
Always be a team player. To know how to be a team player, click here.
Here are some ways, you can try to stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for your actions-
1. Introspect before you blame- Awareness will always be the first step since you need to realize that you have to see the situation from all perspectives in order to blame if you blame others blindly just to save yourself, it will leave a negative impact on people and they will never have the healthy relationship with time, it will start getting negative if blaming gets often. Introspect within yourself, when you are trying to blame others think for their perspective that if they genuinely wrong or you are just hiding your mistake and simply blaming it on others.
2. Have the guts to accept your mistake and take the blame – If you are being honest and take the blame on yourself after introspecting, it is a very big step and demands a lot of courage to accept your mistake in front of others. It may hurt your own feelings but better than the regret of getting caught afterward and ruining things because of ego to not accept what wrong you did. People see your honest side and it builds trust since people know that you will always admit and take the blame where you actually are wrong.
3. No one wins the Blame game- In most situations both the perspectives are right in their own way. So in these cases, the blame game should be avoided, because it will only spread bitterness, not only that but, also will worsen the conversation. For a better Execution, one should know how to take responsibility, When one honestly takes the responsibility for things, then the situation gets easy to handle and people forgive you easily for having the proper guts to accept it in front of them. People will always admire you for having this good quality of taking responsibility for when you are wrong and correcting it.
4. Fix problems with others in a polite manner- Even if you find mistakes or negativity in others do not blame them all the time, control yourself and your anger. Sometimes, things can be sorted and cleared by talking to people in a calm and polite manner rather than only focusing on blaming others just to cover you and put everything on others. Even if people are at the mistake, make them realize it while acting peacefully. People will surely understand if you talk in a positive tone because people understand the language of love easily rather than only blaming or accusing.
5. Start having a better understanding of others- When you have an understanding of people. You try to understand their point of view and try to think like them. To understand people in a better way try to get into their shoes and understand them for their perspective keeping your attitude and ego aside in any relation. A better understanding of any relations makes them more strong and healthy forever.
6. Do not strict things or be attached to the problem only If a topic is cleared or is on the verge to be sorted soon, do not mess it up again by mentioning the same things again and again, in front of the person and blaming them for everything which is already done and has no relevance or significance now.
When a topic is sorted close it forever, never ever take out the old topics to fight on or blame others which are done in past and things had already been discussed upon it. Sometimes you have to act smart in handling the situations and forgiving others for what they’ve done and moving on to get back to normal simple things again.
7. Language has to be taken care of always. Even if you’re pointing out at others or blaming them, language is a must thing you should never forget to take in mind, you should never get rude or arrogant, and use abusive language to others. Even if it is their mistake, do not ruin your tongue and reputation for that and hurt others. It is so easy for people to say cheap things to others and say sorry afterward. You cannot imagine how bad a person can be hurt because of your comments or words for them. Treat people in the way, you want yourself to be treated.
If you want to know how you can control your emotions, click here.
It is easy to point at others because by doing this you will be free from your mistakes and you will protect yourself, but that is actually not the case. It is a very bad habit to accuse others and hide or protect your mistakes. Be a courageous man and stay strong, if you did something wrong admit it and apologize for the same. You will never feel bad about this ever, it is better to do this than blaming somebody.
So, be polite to others. They are also humans they also understand love and not bitterness which is certain to happen after a lot of blaming each other. People that hold onto hate for so long do so because they want to avoid dealing with their pain. They wrongly believe if they forgive they are letting their enemy believe they are weak.
8. We must know our weak area: We must work on improving our weak area and for that, we must know where we must improve. You can think of all the situations where you have behaved badly and can write down what you could have done to make it better. For example, let say you got angry in some situation so now you must work on yourself that if next time the same situation arises you must be able to control your anger.
9. We must keep a higher target for ourselves: Let say in a situation we have a very small fault and others have a higher fault still we must think of improving ourselves and this will only happen if we have a higher target for ourselves. We should say to ourselves that “I must be perfect”.
10. We must be honest with ourselves: We must know where we stand. For example, we understood that we get angry then we must know out of 10 different situations how often we got angry. When we can rate ourselves properly we can work on it better.
11. Keep ourselves responsible for now achieving: Let say you have tried hard to improve yourself but you are not able to change yourself enough then you must blame yourself for not achieving. Blaming others will not help because we cannot change others we can only change ourselves.
In the 11th century one bishop was there when he died on his tomb stone one beautiful thing was written:
When I was young and free my imagination had no limit, I dreamed of changing the world
But as I grew older and wiser, I discovered that the world will not change so I shortened my sight somewhat and decided to change my country
But it too seemed immovable
As I grew in my twilight year, In one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, Those closest to me but I could not change them also
And now as I lie on my death bed, I suddenly realized If I had only changed myself first
Then by example, I would have changed my family, from their inspiration and encouragement, I would have been able to better my country, and who knows I may have even changed my world !!
If you want to learn how to handle negative criticism, click here.
“What they don’t understand is hatred can’t be isolated or turned off. It manifests in their health, choices, and belief systems. Their values and religious beliefs make adjustments to justify their negative emotions. Not unlike malware infesting a hard drive, their spirit slowly becomes corrupted and they make choices that don’t make logical sense to others. Hatred left unaddressed will crash a person’s spirit.
The only thing he or she can do is to reboot, by fixing him or herself, not others. This might require installing a firewall of boundaries or parental controls on their emotions. Regardless of the approach, we are all connected on this “network of life” and each of us is responsible for cleaning up our spiritual registry.”
Shannon L. Alder
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