How to develop the attitude of sticking to and achieving what we commit to ourselves and to others- once we have said we have to do it.
It is the biggest concern that teens do not even know their own words,
which will bother them in the future. Somebody said a nice quote that
“Slip of the leg will get over, but never recover a slip of the tongue.”
You should take care of that when you say and if your words come back
to you, it will affect you too.
Holding the words up is creating trust and goodwill. If I give promises to
my parents, relatives, children, friends, debtors, etc. In each of them
respectively, I started a dream. When I hold my words consistently, they
will create a great sense of trust and confidence. This will set a
precedent to pursue the same lifestyle in their lives. It will be a happy-
happy life scenario. Holding cases unavoidable as restrictions, but do not
arise every time.
A short story will work as the best example to prove my point.
Vijay and Raju were best friends. Vijay & Raju had promised each other
that they will always be there in need of each other. They walked
through a forest on a holiday enjoying the beauty of nature. Immediately
they saw a hungry bear and they got afraid. Raju, who knew all about
climbing trees, ran up to a tree and got up easily. He didn’t have Vijay in
mind. Vijay didn’t know how to climb a tree. For a second Vijay was
silent. He had read that animals did not like dead bodies, so he dropped
to the ground and breathed in. He was sniffed by the bear and thought he had been dead. So, it came on and saw Raju sitting on a tree. Raju was
killed by the bear & it ate. As Vijay reached home people were asking
about Raju. Then Vijay was telling the whole story. He said something
was whispered in his ears by the wolf. “The bear told me to stay away
from friends like Raju,” Vijay said, and he went on his way. The moral
of the story is always keeping your words.
If Raju had helped Vijay, both of their lives could have been saved
because animals don not attack on the group of people.
So, to develop the habit of valuing your own words, sticking to what your have commit to others, you should always follow these points:
- Think before committing an action. Your action must be in sink with your thought. Most of the people say something but do something else. Whenever we are doing against to whatever we have said an automatic inner voice come to stop us , we must listen to that inner voice. Must always try to act according to what we have said. You should understand the importance of the words & promises. A person who respects his own words is respected by all. So if we want to be respected then whay we say has to match with what we do.
- Never commit too much. Big promises can’t always be fulfilled.
People generally promise more than they can deliver & in the end
they face insult & an image of unworthiness in the eyes of other
people. Many a time we think that if we commit more other person will start beliving in us or start following us, but commiting big come with big liability of achieving it. Until unless we are very sure that we are going to achieve it, we must not commit it to others. If we just want to motivate others to go in a set direction then we must say it like lets try to to achieve that big target must not say that i am going to achieve it.Once we commit and dont achieve then we will lose the trust and if we commit small and overachieve it then we build trust. Never try to build trust by commiting big. Try to win trust by targeting less and achieving big. Always try to commit less but deliver more. Committing less will lead to less expectation & delivering more will make your word trustworthy.
- Learn to say ‘NO’. You can’t give your word for everything
expected by others. Few people do not think before they ask for
something. That is the reason why ‘NO’ is so important. If we would say “yes” to everything and everyone then we will not be able to achieve all that. So we must learn to say “NO”. Better to say “NO” then saying “YES” and not doing it in the end.Many a times we think that other person will feel bad if i would say NO but if you say “YES” and not achieve then he will be devastated.
- Your behavior should be like you expect for yourself. If someone else commit to you and dont deliver then you will feel bad right similarly When you don’t fulfill your promise people get hurt. If you’ll treat them like you expect for yourself you’ll always fulfill your promise.
- Now even after commiting less to others, saying “NO” to those whom you cant help and working hard toward what you have said to others because you know that they will feel bad if you will not be able to achieve what you have commited then take responsibilty of your action. Ask for forgiveness from others and see if they want to give you a second chance and try to work hard to achieve it again. If you need any help from them you can ask for the help. Dont try to blame other people or situation for your non achievement. People know that failure is common and they like those who take up the responsibilty of non achievement because they are the individual who want to grow themselves and really want to achieve.
By following these simple points you can be one of the most trusted
persons. This will help you in every sector of your life. Be it your professional life, your love life, your family life, etc. Successful people have one thing in common & that is they always value their words.
Now we commit lot of things to ourselves and but fail to achieve our set targets. Many of us keep new year resolution but dont achieve it and even bad they stop focussing on it after 2-3 month. I have created a video also on this topic which you can view : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiKIeZtq4z0
Lets look into how to stick to what we have commit to ourselves:
- Expecting too much from ourself or setting very high target (commitment) for ourself: Major problem with self goals are that they are very high. Like reducing 20 kg in 3 month !!!Not impossible but very high. Higher target need more time. For an example one cant read 50 books in a day right. We musty have right estimate of time it will take to achive those targets. We must keep achievable target it must stretch ourself but it must not be that its impossible to achieve.
- Must not focus on too many targets (commitments) at a time: We must not keep more then 5 target at a time otherwise we will not be able to focus on this properly. If we really want to achieve what we commit to ourselves then we must keep them not more than 5 target.
- Dont keep target which you dont like to do: We must do what we really want to do in life. That way it becomes easy to achieve the target. All great individual were successful because they did what they love. In that case it become easy to work on that stream. We must keep those target which we really want to do and we enjoy doing that. Let say you want to reduce weight but you dont like going to gym but you like playing outdoor games so you must keep target of playing games then going to gym. Let say you are keeping target of making money and enjoy marketing but have a job in finance. So we must look for job in marketing as we like that the most. With time you will be able to make more money in doing thing which you enjoy more. As you enjoy it you can invest more time and more time investment would make you expert in that. One you are expert you value would be higher and you will earn more money. We must figure out funfilled way to achieve the target.
- Keep some selfless targets: We keep all the selfish targets which help only us and nobody else. We must do good to other and think good about others that add as positive karma which help us to become lucky in life. For achieving a target it not always our effort it also luck which is required to achieve. We must keep some target for helping others. What ever we want to achieve in this world one best way to achieve that is praying to god that he must give that to everyone. We anyway would expect good for us and mostly it will be good for others also so we must pray to god that what ever good you are asking for yourself he must give that to everyone. This thing will help you to achieve yours 🙂
- Daily look at your target: We must write our targets in front of our book or install apps which help in tracking our targets so that we are getting reminded about our targets. In daily life we get distracted from out targets so we must keep re-reding it so that we keep our focus on it.
- Even after all these if we were not able to achieve our target then we must analyze on what went wrong. Most of the time either we didnt have required skill to achieve it or we didnt have right attitude (learning attitude or discipline) Where ever we are lacking try to improve ourselves. Keep that improvement in next year target 🙂
These are the ways through which we can stick to what we commit and will be able to achieve it.
To develop good attitude in yourself you can read one famous book by John Maxwell “winning with people” you can buy that book at Winning with people
Other blog which you can read : https://sudarshanpurohit.com/overcoming-fear-of-failure/
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