How to develop the attitude of sticking to and achieving what we commit to ourselves and to others- once we have said we have to do it.
It is the biggest concern that teens do not even know their own words,
which will bother them in the future. Somebody said a nice quote that
“Slip of the leg will get over, but never recover a slip of the tongue.”
You should take care of that when you say and if your words come back to you, it will affect you too.
Holding the words up is creating trust and goodwill. If I give promises to my parents, relatives, children, friends, debtors, etc. In each of them respectively, I started a dream. When I hold my words consistently, they will create a great sense of trust and confidence. This will set a
precedent for pursuing the same lifestyle in their lives. It will be happy-
happy life scenario. Holding cases unavoidable as restrictions, but do not arise every time.
A short story will work as the best example to prove my point.
Vijay and Raju were best friends. Vijay & Raju had promised each other that they will always be there in need of each other. They walked through a forest on a holiday enjoying the beauty of nature. Immediately they saw a hungry bear and they got afraid. Raju, who knew all about climbing trees, ran up to a tree and got up easily. He didn’t have Vijay in mind. Vijay didn’t know how to climb a tree.
For a second Vijay was silent. He had read that animals did not like dead bodies, so he dropped to the ground and breathed in. He was sniffed by the bear and thought he had been dead. So, it came on and saw Raju sitting on a tree. Raju was killed by the bear & it ate. As Vijay reached home people were asking about Raju.
Then Vijay was telling the whole story. He said something was whispered in his ears by the wolf. “The bear told me to stay away from friends like Raju,” Vijay said, and he went on his way. The moral of the story is always keeping your words. If Raju had helped Vijay, both of their lives could have been saved because animals do not attack a group of people.
So, to develop the habit of valuing your own words, sticking to what you have commit to others, you should always follow these points:
- Think before committing an action. Your action must be in sink with your thought. Most people say something but do something else. Whenever we are doing against whatever we have said an automatic inner voice comes to stop us, we must listen to that inner voice. Must always try to act according to what we have said. You should understand the importance of the words & promises. A person who respects his own words is respected by all. So if we want to be respected then what we say has to match with what we do.
- Never commit too much. Big promises can’t always be fulfilled.
People generally promise more than they can deliver & in the end
they face insult & an image of unworthiness in the eyes of other
people. Many a time we think that if we commit more another person will start believing in us or start following us, but committing big come with the big liability of achieving it. Unless we are very sure that we are going to achieve it, we must not commit it to others. If we just want to motivate others to go in a set direction then we must say it like let’s try to achieve that big target must not say that I am going to achieve it. Once we commit and don’t achieve then we will lose the trust and if we commit small and overachieve it then we build trust. Never try to build trust by committing big. Try to win trust by targeting less and achieving big. Always try to commit less but deliver more. Committing less will lead to less expectation & delivering more will make your word trustworthy.
- Learn to say ‘NO’. You can’t give your word for everything expected by others. Few people do not think before they ask for something. That is the reason why ‘NO’ is so important. If we would say “yes” to everything and everyone then we will not be able to achieve all that. So we must learn to say “NO”. Better to say “NO” than saying “YES” and not doing it in the end. Many times we think that another person will feel bad if I would say NO but if you say “YES” and not achieve then he will be devastated.
- Your behavior should be like you expect for yourself. If someone else commits to you and doesn’t deliver then you will feel bad right similarly When you don’t fulfill your promise people get hurt. If you’ll treat them like you expect for yourself you’ll always fulfill your promise.
- Now even after committing less to others, saying “NO” to those whom you can’t help, and working hard toward what you have said to others because you know that they will feel bad if you will not be able to achieve what you have committed then take responsibility of your action. Ask for forgiveness from others and see if they want to give you a second chance and try to work hard to achieve it again. If you need any help from them you can ask for help. Don’t try to blame other people or situations for your nonachievement. People know that failure is common and they like those who take up the responsibility of nonachievement because they are the individual who wants to grow themselves and really want to achieve.
By following these simple points you can be one of the most trusted persons. This will help you in every sector of your life. Be it your professional life, your love life, your family life, etc. Successful people have one thing in common & that is they always value their words.
Now we commit a lot of things to ourselves and but fail to achieve our set targets. Many of us keep a new year’s resolution but don’t achieve it and even worse they stop focussing on it after 2-3 months. I have created a video also on this topic which you can view: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiKIeZtq4z0
Let’s look into how to stick to what we have committed to ourselves:
- Expecting too much from ourselves or setting a very high target (commitment) for ourselves: Major problem with self goals is that they are very high. Like reducing 20 kg in 3 months!!!Not impossible but very high. The higher target needs more time. For example, one cant read 50 books in a day right. We musty have right estimate of the time it will take to achieve those targets. We must keep achievable targets it must stretch ourself but it must not be that it’s impossible to achieve.
- Must not focus on too many targets (commitments) at a time: We must not keep more than 5 targets at a time otherwise we will not be able to focus on this properly. If we really want to achieve what we commit to ourselves then we must keep them not more than 5 targets.
- Don’t keep target which you don’t like to do: We must do what we really want to do in life. That way it becomes easy to achieve the target. All great individuals were successful because they did what they love. In that case, it becomes easy to work on that stream. We must keep those targets which we really want to do and we enjoy doing that. Let say you want to reduce weight but you don’t like going to the gym but you like playing outdoor games so you must keep the target of playing games than going to the gym. Let say you are keeping a target of making money and enjoy marketing but have a job in finance. So we must look for a job in marketing as we like that the most. With time you will be able to make more money in doing things which you enjoy more. As you enjoy it you can invest more time and more time investment would make you expert in that. Once you are an expert your value would be higher and you will earn more money. We must figure out a funfilled way to achieve the target.
- Keep some selfless targets: We keep all the selfish targets that help only us and nobody else. We must do good to other and think good about others that add as positive karma which help us to become lucky in life. For achieving a target it not always our effort it also luck which is required to achieve. We must keep some targets for helping others. Whatever we want to achieve in this world one best way to achieve that is by praying to God that he must give that to everyone. We anyway would expect good for us and mostly it will be good for others also so we must pray to God that whatever good you are asking for yourself he must give that to everyone. This thing will help you to achieve yours 🙂
- A daily look at your target: We must write our targets in front of our book or install apps that help in tracking our targets so that we are getting reminded about our targets. In daily life, we get distracted from our targets so we must keep re-reading them so that we keep our focus on them.
- Even after all these if we were not able to achieve our target then we must analyze what went wrong. Most of the time either we didn’t have the required skills to achieve it or we didn’t have the right attitude (learning attitude or discipline) Where ever we are lacking try to improve ourselves. Keep that improvement in next year target 🙂
These are the ways through which we can stick to what we commit and will be able to achieve it.
To develop a good attitude in yourself you can read one famous book by John Maxwell “winning with people” you can buy that book at Winning with people
Another blog which you can read: https://sudarshanpurohit.com/overcoming-fear-of-failure/
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