We always face hurting people in our life and we feel very bad after meeting them so read this article on now how to handle negative people in life?
In our life we must have encountered mean, hurting and negative people. As research says 1 out of 4 individual are mean, hurting and negative. These negative people have problem with each and every thing – in their life and in others life. Where ever these negative people go they deteriorate the positive energy. They find fault in everything.
To understand how to handle negative people lets first look into what exactly negative thinking is on biological level so here is a broader view:
Human has 4 dimensions in mind:
What they think – the thought level – the cognitive model
What they feel – the feeling level – the emotional model
What they say – the spoken discourse (communicating, listening, speaking) – the language model
What they do – the behavior level – the action level
Now logical mind do all the thinking and emotional mind is the energy source. Logical mind has all the thinking now this thinking either can be positive or it can be negative. Logical mind is made up of neurons and it work in unidirectional way. If we command our logical mind to think in positive direction then it will only think all positive and if we command it in negative direction then it will only think all negative.
For an example let say we want to think benefits of mobile phone then we will get all the good points of mobile phone like it helps us to connect with other, because of this our human race is evolving faster etc and if we want to think in negative direction then we get all the problems like mobile phone is harmful for birds, mobile phone is responsible for less face to face human interaction etc.
So negative thinking people command their logical mind to think in negative direction and positive thinking people command their mind to think in positive direction. Emotional mind just exaggerate by giving energy to the thought, if it is negative it becomes negative energy and if it is positive it becomes positive energy. So first we think, then that thinking get amplified by our feeling and then accordingly we act.
Now this negative thought when get mixed with energy it becomes negative energy and this negative energy is not good for our health. We get negative emotions because of this like : sadness, fear, anger, disgust or aversion. Negative thinking people are fearful. Negative people impact others because energy are contagious. They spread negative energy and other people who are in their immediate contact also become negative at least for short duration.
Like if some negative energy person come and say hurting thing then if we can make ourselves positive fast then we can over come in short duration but if we dont know how to make ourselves positive then it might take longer duration to become normal again. Most of the time if someone say us negative thing then we also become negative and react negatively to them and that lead to a fight and we deteriorate our health also.
These negative thinking people get hurt very easily. Even if we say one small negative thing to them they go into negative thinking process and either become sad or angry or depress. So it is very easy to hurt them. They are always ready for fight
Positive thinking people are:
- MORE WILLING TO CHANGE
- MORE WILLING TO ADMIT FAILURE
- MORE WILLING TO DISCUSS ISSUES
- MORE WILLING TO LEARN FROM OTHERS
- MORE WILLING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROBLEM ARE HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL
Negative thinking people are :
- LESS WILLING TO CHANGE
- LESS WILLING TO ADMIT FAILURE
- LESS WILLING TO DISCUSS ISSUES
- LESS WILLING TO LEARN FROM OTHERS
- LESS WILLING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE PROBLEM ARE SAD AND UNSUCCESSFUL
Now those who tend to think in negative direction they get this habit might be because they are more influenced by negative people. Someone close to them might be thinking negative. Many negative thinker thinks that they are more realistic in life and they also think that they are more secure because they think of all the possible problems which can happen in future.
The greater the level of integration between the four dimensions of mind, the more happy we will be with ourselves and we will have much more satisfactory relationships with others. This way it works best and most effectively and wisely. The person who has consistency between what he does, feels, says and thinks is a wise man.
When we practice daily to command our logical mind to think in positive direction, we become positive thinking individual. Now one very important point to note here is every thing in this world is half full and half empty. Now it only depends on us how do we want to perceive it.
Dealing with mean , hurting and negative people is a reality of life, that life is sometimes unpleasant. These not-so-nice groups can be different levels of mean, varying from sharp to semi-cranky, to straight-up irritable and offensive. You may encounter them in either work, life, or even both. Mean people can be passive, threatening, passive-aggressive, or brash, confrontational, directly on your face.
To develop good attitude in yourself you can read one famous book by John Maxwell “winning with people” you can buy that book at Winning with people
So how to handle negative People without hurting yourself?
- How to handle negative people : 1. DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY – DONT TAKE THEIR WORDS TO YOUR HEART: This is a complex one but it’s equally important when learning how to deal with offensive people. It’s really difficult not to take their bad words personally, but the fact is, they have no idea about your life. Even they might be going through a hard time and may have no support. Just like you don’t know them, they don’t know you. So any conversation you have is not personal and shouldn’t be taken as one. Negative people try to deteriorate your self image. They try to say negative thing about your attitude and character. They have gone to negating thinking loop . Its not what they are saying but what we are thinking about our self.
- I have a YouTube Channel also where i post lot of videos to improve our behavior you can check it out : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYGdbB_F0qii4Zo_rn-rCyg/videos?view_as=subscriber
- How to handle negative people : 2. YOU HAVE CONTROL: It’s up to you if you’re going to let the negativity of someone else get to you, even if you are compelled to fight with them. You have the control and choice about how they affect you. You don’t have to welcome these types of people or this negative energy, but you may also never know what the other is going through. This person may have had a harsh upbringing or maybe going through some problem that may be making them act in such away. Many a times because of some bad past experiences people behave negatively we need to understand experiences in past which are making them negative. We have to understand their situation and keep our self positive. We have to look beyond the current situation.
- You can visit my Facebook page here you can find all my videos and i update it regularly : https://www.facebook.com/pg/betterworldsjp/videos/?ref=page_internal
- You can connect me through my Instagram page : https://www.instagram.com/purohit.sudarshan/
- How to handle negative people : 3. REMEMBER YOUR IDENTITY: You are not like them. As said earlier, you have to keep your cool and you don’t have to be mean back. Outside of personal communications, setting emotional barriers is also important, so that you only give as much of yourself to that person as needed. tell them when they cross any lines. it is the best course of action. For example, mean people are not usually trustworthy, and because of this, you do not owe them your personal self and any love. be nice but not naive. We have to understand that its not what others are doing to you its all about what is happening inside us. What ever other people are saying we have to keep our self image positive by repeating positive statement to ourselves.
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- How to handle negative people : 4. STAY CALM AND COLLECTED: Such people want to make you angry, take a moment to breathe and calm yourself. don’t let such people get in your mind. The calmer and unaffected you will be able to make a better and a wise decision on how you’re going to react. We have to make sure that we dont react to negative people negatively. We have to response them positively only. By reacting negatively things will become worse. We must make sure that we should not add to their hurt.
- You can read How to always respond positively. You can watch one of the video on you tube which would help to keep yourself positive.
- How to handle negative people : 5. BE THE BIGGER PERSON: look closely into the situation that has you dealing with the said mean person. Then make a list only focusing on the interaction with the said person and the factors that you can control. This will allow you to close things on your end rather than creating a situation which will lead to a confrontation. if we have good positive self image then we can help other by giving positive thought so that they can change negative thought process to positive one. But to make this happen we must have perfect self control on our thought. In negative situation also we must keep our self positive. In this case we are the bigger person then the other individual as we have very good control.
Now what if we are the negative individual which means that we go into negative loop again and again very easily. Even a small negative event in life can make us negative and we react negatively. We must look for permanent fix rather then a temporary fix. Temporary fix like listening to music, taking a walk, watching movies, reading something interesting or diverting our mind by any way from negativity.
Instead we should fix it permanently by having full control on our logical mind. Controlling logical mind means we can command our mind to think in positive direction when ever it is going in negative direction. Let say someone is abusing it will make us to think negative but we must be able to come out of that situation and try to find some positive thought which we say to our self and which lead us in positive direction.
Controlling our thought is the only permanent way to solve this problem. But this comes with practice. We need to analyze situations when we went into negative direction and write down all the positive thought which could had helped you. Now next time in those situations we have to use those positive thoughts and help ourselves.
After learning how to handle negative people you would want to learn how to respond always positively so here is the link: https://sudarshanpurohit.com/how-to-always-respond-positively/
If you can add any value in this post then you are welcome. Kindly send in comment your suggestions. You can also suggest some of the ways which you can think of on how to handle negative people.