What is selfless and how to become selfless?
Do you have a set of expectations from your spouse?
Do you expect that your kids must take care of you when you grow old?
Is it that most of your time goes into thinking about what I am going to get from whatever I am doing?
If all your thoughts are inward or selfish then you must read this to learn what do we mean by selflessness and how it can help you in your life.
There are 3 levels of the mindset of people.
- Taker mindset people just want to receive but never want to give. Everything in their life – either from other people or from their actions or from any situation they are just worried about what they can get and in whatever they get they are never satisfied.
Taker mindset people are very fearful individuals and most of the time they have negative thought processes.
As they only think of getting so they have fear in doing any activity or making a relationship with others because they are not sure what they gonna get from that and this leads to either not do anything because of fear of not getting or if they do it halfheartedly !!!
This mindset people mainly work if someone shows some stick to them otherwise they don’t want to live or work and just want to receive. If someone put a stick then only they work.
This mindset people are Mainly followers and can never be a leader.
- The next mindset is if they receive something then they will give: These people are positive in their thinking because if they see an opportunity of receiving then they will be ready to give their best. They believe that if they work toward achieving it they will be able to get it.
If someone shows them carrots then they will work. They are willing to give or work not for helping others but because of selfish thoughts of receiving something. They behave like a trader either with other people or with their actions or with any situation in life. For example, they will do for their kids with the motivation that kids will help them in future or they will do work with a motivation that they will get either money or fame in return or in any situation the way other people will behave with them they will also behave in the same way with them!!! They lead people for their commercial benefits like businessmen.
- There are very few who understand that in this world-first we have to give and then only we will receive: This mindset people first see what value add they can do to others and in return if they get an offer to receive something then great.
Their main focus is giving something to others and they know that if they give then they automatically get the return. Whatever they do their motivation behind their work is to add value and make things better. They understand that success comes from being constructive, helpful, and caring. Ironically these people are the ones who are most happy, successful, having great relationships in life.
Saints, social workers great politicians come into this category where they work to make things better.
Now let say if we are most of the time either negative and selfish or positive and selfish then how can we change our thought process completely to become selfless (altruist) and positive?
Here are the points which we must understand for that:
1. In this life we don’t have any control over what we are going to get we only have control over what we can give or do. So anyway wise thing would be focusing on what we can give or do.
Even if we get then in what way it will come or how much it comes that also we don’t know. We can just work on what we can give and how much we can give. For example: let say you are playing a game, you will play best when you just focus on how you are playing not on whether you are winning or losing because how others will play on that you don’t have any control.
Our best performance will also come when we will just focus on our work. Let say we are raising our kids we must focus on what we can do for kids because we don’t know what they are going to do for us. So to perform our best we must only focus on what we can do not what we gonna get because what we will get is anyway not in our control.
By giving anything we get the return in 3 forms:
- Valuables return The things that provide material wealth. Most of the time we want material wealth as a result of whatever we give but this is not the only thing which we get and this is also not the most common thing which we get from others also.
- We get happiness or respect and a sense of “someone who is capable enough to give”: Whenever we give something we have a higher positive thought in our mind and that gives us happiness and a sense of fulfillment. So we get emotional positive energy either from people whom we are helping or from our action give us positivism and from higher spiritual thought that God has made us capable enough to help others.
- By giving we get a strong mindset that first of all we are not greedy and we are more selfless as we are thinking of giving. So by giving we get a strong mindset which is a strong logical mind.
So by giving we can get things for our body which is material things or for our emotional mind which is happiness and a good attitude and for our logical mind which will give us a strong character.
So what we will get by giving we don’t know, maybe if we focus only on giving we might not get the material benefit but we might get the emotional and logical benefit.
2. Another point is, this world is made like this only that first we have to give then we will get: To grow tree first we have to sow then only we will reap. So when we give to someone we will definitely get the return might be anything of emotional logical or material worth. So nature is if you sow you reap. we will always reap later than we sow. so we must focus on what we are sowing first reaping will be a later part.
3. When you do something with the mindset of more getting and less doing then we get 0.5 x in return. If we do something to get something then we get x in return and if we do something and don’t think about what we get then we get 4x in return. This return not always is material but it will comprise of all three (material, emotion, and logical). This is the basic principle of karma.
So selflessness (altruism) is just focusing on what I am doing and not what I am getting. Generally we misunderstand selflessness as only giving like charity. Selflessness (altruism) is just more focusing on doing and less focusing on getting. This is now for our thought and for our actions. Our thought must also be what I can give in terms of good positive thoughts to others and action also what good positive action I can do for others. This is also a basic concept of karma. If we are positive and selfless then we have good karmas.
So to summarize it for you in this life we have control only over what we can give and not on what we can get. So our main focus must be on what we can give. The second is we will get results only after we do something this also means that we must do something and must focus on that. The third point is we get divine help when our thought is of giving and not of getting so we will become lucky by thinking of giving than receiving.
These three points we must daily recall before we think anything or do anything and start practicing selflessness (altruism) in our thought and action.
It’s not that going and doing some donation is only what selflessness (altruism) is, actually selflessness (altruism) is focusing on what we can give not what we can get.
To develop a good attitude in yourself you can read one famous book by John Maxwell “winning with people” you can buy that book at Winning with people
Another blog which you can read: https://sudarshanpurohit.com/overcoming-fear-of-failure/
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