Characteristics of a Good Friend.
Recently, I was talking to my 6-year-old cousin, who has just started elementary school. She, having some dark spots in her face, complained to me that her classmates were making fun of her due to the said appearance. She did not like her classmates a bit and was angry at her friends for making her cry. It was when I tried to console her that she asked me a thought-provoking question. How should a friend be? Put in other words, what qualities we must look into while making friendship?
I was amazed as well as speechless upon hearing her, a 6-year-old ask this question. Friends may be good or bad. Some may lead us to good places, while others may push us down to bad places. But usually, we as grown-ups never think about this question. We blindly make friends in our schools and colleges, who then influences our life either in a good way or bad way drastically. So, I figured it is time to revisit this question and analyse what qualities to look for, and are desirable while making friends. Read on to find out!
A PILLAR CALLED FRIEND:
A man, I believe, has 4 most important people in his life, or in other words, 4 pillars of support. The first one is Parents, the second one is Teacher, the third one is the spouse, and the fourth and important pillar is a friend. Important because a friend is the only one who is likely to travel throughout your journey of life. Parents and Teachers may be present only in the first half and a spouse enters our life only after a quarter of life has already passed. So, it is a friend who is likely to stay for almost the entire period of our life.
Imagine then how much influence a friend is likely to have in our life. So, it becomes imperative that we choose a friend who has certain desirable qualities of friendship.
Such desirable qualities are covered below. (T)read on to find out!
1. TRUSTWORTHY: This is perhaps, the single most important trait to look for while choosing a person as a friend. We, humans usually have many secrets and more often, share them with our friends, So, it becomes utmost important that the person you are choosing to be your friend is ‘trustable’, will always safeguard your secret, and also trusts you.
Such trusts may take time to build, but we can easily find out what kind of a person your to-be-friend is with the way he is behaving towards his other friends and acquaintances. Remember that a true and trustworthy friend will never, at any cost, use your secret as a weapon against you.
2. HONESTY: Honesty is a rare quality nowadays. Criticizing and condemning behind our backs is what happens most of the time. Hiding things such as secrets has also become common nowadays. And there is literally no one who complains to us straightforward and be honest about us to us.
Which brings us to our next most important quality. Honesty. A friend should be straight as an arrow and honest. Humans are never perfect and very often, we may commit mistakes either unknowingly or knowingly, due to bad acquaintances or habits. A true friend is one who confronts you straightforwardly in such situations, make you realize your mistake and straightens you towards the correct path.
3. SUPPORTIVE: As mentioned earlier, the only person who is likely to travel most of the journey with you in your path of life is your friend. So, make sure that you have a friend who has always got your back and never leaves you.
We are dependent creatures and need the help of someone at all times. And the one person who can act as your pillar of support is your friend. As quoted by the famous proverb, Such a friend who always stands by you is an invaluable treasure. So, choose a friend wisely!
“A friend in need is a friend indeed”proverb
4. HAVING YOUR BEST INTEREST IN MIND: Today, with an increase in competition for education and career, we see, along with it, an increase in jealousy too. People wish for their success only and never bother to care about others. Humanity is reduced to mere jealousy and hatred, arising from it.
A true friend should be one who has your best interests in mind, supports you for every good decision that you take, stands by you in the process of achieving it, and finally feels elated and happy on seeing your success. Such kind of friends are hard to get nowadays, but remember, they are invaluable treasure too. Befriend such a kind of person who feels happy about your success.
5. THEY ACTIVELY LISTEN: A friend is one who does not impose his views or beliefs on you, rather he/she is the one who listens to you, respects your views and beliefs, and also supports and defends you for it. This is another important quality to look out for.
Many times, when we are dejected, frustrated and deeply saddened, we often look for someone who can hear our problems and understand it, rather than advising or scolding us. Sometimes, all we need is an ear to listen to us. A good friend is one who will lend you an ear, listen to all your problems without advising. Understand that sometimes, listening is an even greater help than advising or consoling us. Such a friend is truly a valuable one.
6. ACCEPT AS WE ARE: As mentioned by my little cousin, her friends were teasing her for who she was. For them, her dark spots mattered more than herself. One may ask, they are obviously small children so why to blame them. But it is important to realize that these habits do not stop in childhood itself, but, manifests in high school as well as college life. Mocking someone for how they appear is the worst behaviour that needs to be changed immediately.
But, it is also a fact that we cannot change anyone unless he/she experiences it himself/herself. So, it is better to choose someone who accepts you as you are, stays with you throughout, and never uses that to tease or mock you, but instead, protect you from other mockeries. Those friends are real and will always stand by you, even if the times are tough. So, choose wisely!
7. MAKES YOU SMILE: No matter what the situation may be, your friend will be one who makes you smile, never lets you feel dejected and keeps you happy. Even in situations when you are frustrated, dejected, or deeply saddened, a small talk with him/her can rejuvenate you and bring you back on your feet. In short, that person can make you feel lively and energetic.
These are a few characteristics of a good friend.
Choose such a person who, even in your modest or inglorious days, makes you smile and joyful. Such a person will have the power to make you smile even through small conversations, jokes or outings. That kind of person is precious, and one should never let go of such a person.
8. MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE: There are people, who, on talking with them, can instantly make us feel comfortable. I am sure most of us would have experienced this phenomenon. Even though that person might be a complete stranger, a small talk with him/her can instantly make us like that person and feel comfortable with him/her.
It is most likely that such a person has similar thoughts and interests. In other words, that person is compatible with us. Such a person is not common to find, but once found, it is most likely that that person will stay with us for a long time. And the best part is such people instantly becomes friends. So, hold on to them!
When I finished giving these desirable qualities of a friend to my little cousin, she stared at me in disbelief, and told me that the list is too long to read and such a person can never be found (such a clever cousin xD)! But to her surprise, I replied in affirmative and said that though such a person who possesses all the above qualities may or may not exist, she will definitely find a friend who understands her and stands by her at all times, lending a helping hand in times of crisis, and making her smile all the time.
Above all, it is imperative to understand that no person is perfect, So, if a person is as stated above to my sister and becomes your friend, even if he/she has any other imperfections, embrace them and try to change those imperfections. After all, it is a friend’s duty to stand by his/her friend and make them happy! Finally, good luck find your best friend!
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