HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER?
“Vasudeva listened with great attention. Listening carefully, he let everything enter his mind, birthplace and childhood, all that learning,
all that searching, all joy, all distress. This was among the ferryman’s virtues one of the greatest: like only a few, he knew how to listen. Without him having spoken a word, the speaker sensed how Vasudeva let his words enter his mind, quiet, open, waiting, how he did not lose a single one, awaited not a single one with impatience, did not add his praise or rebuke, was just listening. Siddhartha felt, what a happy fortune it is, to confess to such a listener, to burry in his heart his own life, his own search, his own suffering.”
― Hermann Hessen, Siddhartha
“How to be a good listener?” well, it is one of the most important questions in the present times, as, the rate of being positive in front of people is decreasing day by day. If one is not a good listener, he/she may receive a wrong message from his/her own perspective, not only this, it may also affect the energy of the speaker.
Focus is the key to learn how to be a good listener. Click here if you want to know how to remain focused.
If you are not in a state to listen to a person, you should tell them that it is not a good time to talk but, when you listen, just listen to people politely. Being a good listener lets you see the world from the perspective of the speaker and lets you understand the feelings of others also.
Good listening is very important to build healthy and close relationships with others, when you listen to others calmly you try to understand their state of mind and perspective which makes you understand their feelings. Being a good listener is when you do not interrupt when a person is saying or expressing something.
It is important for a person to remain humble while learning how to be a good listener. Click here to know how to maintain humility always.
When somebody is speaking do not distract yourself or let your attention wander anywhere, treat a speaker as you would want to be treated when you are speaking.
When you speak or address someone you want them to listen to you or pay attention to you because you have prepared for it, got confidence for it and so in others cases as well, you never know how much confidence or the courage it took for them to speak in front of people or just you, you need to respect their feelings and make sure they are not distracted by your unwanted facial expressions or not interested body language this will give them a setback in confidence and they will get low on self-esteem which can hurt them or maybe they never get confidence by this.
These are the qualities to look for in a good friend.
So, always listen to people and boost them because it can be you in their place one day.
Here are a few tips to achieve good listening skills or here are the tip to understand how to be a good listener:-
1. Do not or never interrupt when somebody is speaking: It is a bad habit to interrupt in between when a person is speaking; they then lose the interest to speak and may get demotivated. If you have any problem with what they say or what they implied, wait for them to complete it and then you can suggest or share your point of view.
It is sometimes that we interrupt in between without listening to the full thing and we misinterpret what others want to say, so be patient and polite to a speaker. -When you interrupt in between a conversation just to tell or ask something, it ruins the conversation and interest of the speaker. Never change the topic in the middle of the speaker’s ongoing topic.
If you have any query just write it down and ask in the end but don’t interrupt in between.
2. Open Yourself to Every type of subject: When you open yourself to every kind of topic, you feel positive towards everything you listen to, not only this when you listen with keen interest; it makes the speaker feel good and confident to talk to you and boosts his/her energy. Do not listen to your subject of interest only, everybody cannot have the same taste and preference like you, they may have something very opposite to speak from your choice and you may like it if you pay attention to the words of the speaker.
Here’s how you can avoid arguments with your loved ones.
3. Avoid comparing your situations to the speaker’s situations: It may seem good to compare the situations to help him/her find a better way of dealing, it may be true to some extent, but in some situation, it may ruin the conversation.
For example, if the speaker has experienced the death of someone close to them, then you comparing any past death experience won’t help him get better. Instead, you can consolidate him/her to feel better. Every situation cannot be the same as yours, so never compare somebody else’s situations or circumstances to yours and then finding out negative points in it which is a very bad habit.
4.Empathize: To be a good listener is to put you in the speaker’s shoes, this means to feel the situation from his/her perspective in order to give a better reply. The most important is to show empathy towards others, think according to their perspective or state of mind, you may not be correct always. Just be kind to the person who wants or is sharing his or her feelings and expressions to you, have empathy towards people.
5. Sympathize: To show the speaker that you care, do react and nod at right intervals, so that the speaker knows that you are listening. Do not make any facial expressions that give the speaker a hint of disinterest and also not show your body language in such a way that you are not paying attention to what the speaker says.
While learning how to be a good listener, it is also important to always respond positively. Click here to learn how to always respond positively.
A listener plays a very important role for the speaker, the speaker gets more energy or gets more boosted up when he knows the audience is engaging to its content and get more confident to share the content, so be a helper to a speaker who motivates more. Also saying little thing in between can be done to make the speaker feel better.
6. Try memorizing the things, the speaker has mentioned: Try to remember each and every single detail of the conversation and be attentive to reply at specific times, it will ruin the mood of the speaker if, he/she asks for your opinion and you are speechless because you were not paying attention or not concentrating as the speaker wanted. It’s okay if you don’t have a sharp memory, but, if this is the case, you should ask them a few
intervals just so you can absorb the information efficiently.
7. Concentrate on what a speaker is up to say or express: To increase the concentration power, one should meditate and exercise his/her mind. Your concentration is the main key to unlock the god level listening skills, and paying attention to a person is a good habit. Having a good concentration level makes you learn from people and understand their viewpoint which is important to know.
8. Maintain the eye contact with the speaker: Make a good eye-contact with the speaker, so that he can be happy on it that people are listening to him or her. Your eyes moving here and there will make the speaker feel that his or her content is not worth listening to or that it is not good. The speaker gets dissatisfied for their own content and cannot express it in the same way as they would have planned.
9. Do not judge anybody for what they say: This is a very important thing, which needs to be implemented everywhere be it relationships, friendships, marriages or any type of bonding. When a person is speaking to you, do not judge them, listen to them in a calm way and try to understand what they want to say, be in their position for a while or try taking their shoes for a moment and then think what is actually being told you.
Never point out the negative things in somebody’s conversation, if you feel that there is something which needs to be corrected then just wait for them to totally complete it and then give your suggestions or advice in a humble and not by pointing towards them and hurting them for expressing or stating their feelings In front of you.
A good listener will be a successful person because he knows how to understand people and respect their feelings. Listening to others is or never will be a loss for you, every time you listen to other people around you, they will make you learn something new and gain more knowledge.
Never think of yourself as superior, that you can point or interrupt anybody if they are wrong at some point in the conversation. Superiority may lead to your failure because by that you will not see anybody around, it would be only you and no respect for others, which is a very bad way of thinking and people will not love or appreciate you for this behavior. People will admire you and feel close to you if you listen to them carefully and appreciate them and not judge them.
After reading how to be a good listener I am sure you would want to read: How to develop humility
You can visit my Facebook page after reading how to be a good listener where you can find all my videos and I update regularly:https://www.facebook.com/betterworldsjp/videos/?ref=page_internal
You can also connect to me through my professional network on Linkedin after reading how to be a good listener https://www.linkedin.com/in/sjpurohit/
You can connect to me through my Instagram page after reading how to be a good listener: https://www.instagram.com/purohit.sudarshan/
If you want to know about your strengths and weaknesses then you can get your DMIT test done. If you want your DMIT test to be done then you can contact here: https://sudarshanpurohit.com/dmit-test-in-bangalore/