HOW CAN WE UNDERSTAND PEOPLE AND WHY IS IT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND THEM?
“We only know a tiny proportion of the complexity of the natural world. Wherever you look, there are still things we don’t know about and don’t understand. […] There are always new things to find out if you go looking for them.”
– David Attenborough
Human beings are one of the most complex beings on this planet. What brings this complexity are our distinctiveness, uniqueness, and a lot more. We all are different from one another, be it biological, social, cultural, psychological etc. Along with these varied diversities of mankind comes the fact of co-existence. We all belong to one land and we thereby co-exist.
After learning the answer to the all-important question of ‘How can we understand people?’, you should know how to deal with people’s disappointment too. Here’s what you should do.
A peaceful co-existence, keeping in mind these numerous differences, demands for a sense of understanding in each one of us, an understanding towards the various other living beings. We as human beings are prone to have conflicts due to our different interests. But all of us need to inculcate, in ourselves, a habit of understanding. We should learn to understand the circumstances of the second person. We should know how to react under a situation of conflict.
To be able to understand others we should keep away our own assumptions and try to listen to the other person, trying to understand their perspective. We as humans are likely to be judgmental on a number of points in our lives. But while considering others and their problems we should keep our judgments aside and try to understand them. It is well said that-“we should listen to understand them and not to reply to them”.
Along with being a good speaker, we should learn to be good listeners. Most importantly we should learn to be sensitive to others. We should not make statements that might hurt others or disturb their peace of mind. Try to be more and more aware of the words you use. We should try to figure out their strengths and weaknesses. We should try our best to help others with their problems.
After knowing the answer to ‘How can we understand people?’, we need to know how to motivate people around us. Here’s what you should do.
The best form of understanding begins at home. We should be kind to our family and should be constantly working on our skills to understand their needs. Understanding other people, in today’s era, might seem a task in itself keeping in mind the complex psychological arrangements of the human mind. In the path of moving forward in life, we often forget to take care of others and their socio-emotional needs. We quite potently hurt people in our life without realizing. It is an altogether difficult task to be able to understand others.
To completely know the answer to ‘How can we understand people?’, you should know how to be a good listener. Here’s what you should do to be a good listener.
These difficulties possibly could occur due to the following reasons-
1. People have varied personalities on their exterior and interior respectively –
People in today’s time do not really like to tell others about their problems. They don’t like to confide in front of others their unhappiness, despair, pain etc. This, in turn, leads to arousal of a dual personality of sorts.
They keep all their sorrows and pain within themselves and try to pretend as if nothing is going. It is difficult to understand such a person but may not be impossible. Keen observation and a sensitive mind can easily recognize such behaviour. We should be more attentive and aware of the people around us to be able to figure out such a situation.
After knowing the answer to ‘How can we understand people?’, you should also know how to care for your partner. Here’s what you should do.
2. Some kind of trauma at some point in time –
There are a lot of people who have been through such a situation that has influenced their mind negatively. Domestic violence, child abuse, death of a dear one, bullying etc are examples of such situations which can affect a person’s mind. Such people don’t like to share their feelings with others.
Either they remain depressed for a lifetime or just pretend to be happy so that no one can find their true self. Such people neither try to understand others nor want anyone to help them. People with such an attitude can really be hard to deal with. We should try to be more and more sensitive toward such people as they are the most vulnerable.
3. People like to be alone –
People these days like to be more and more alone. They don’t want to be out there. They like to be confined within themselves. They don’t like their exposure to the world. Such people go through a fixed mindset that people can’t understand them. Loneliness overpowers such people and their minds. It is important to understand the possible events that might have happened in their lives which left them with this mindset.
4. People are so much busier with their lives –
That they do not pay attention to understanding the needs of others. The hectic schedules do not allow us to look around and spend some of our time in caring for others. We are so indulged in our lives that we do not give a thought about others. Such people start ignoring the need to understand the people around them, be it, their homes, workplaces, colleges etc.
5. Different people, different behaviours –
With so many different people around us, it becomes difficult to understand the needs of each one due to their varied psychological compositions. We have different people around us who have different cultures, speak different languages, and have different behaviours and lot more in distinction. It is, therefore, not an easy task to be able to understand such varied beings. Such an understanding comes with time; the only thing is that we should be willing to invest our time and efforts in understanding others.
Now, how can we develop understanding after all the factors mentioned above?
1. Develop empathy for others –To understand people you need to put yourself in their place, this means to feel the situation from his/her perspective in order to give a better reply. The most important is to show empathy towards others, think according to their perspective or state of mind, you may not be correct always. Just be kind to that person who wants or is sharing his or her feelings and expressions to you, have empathy towards people.
2. Do not judge anybody – This is a very important thing, if you want to understand people, be it relationships, friendships, marriages or any type of bonding. When a person expresses something to you, do not judge them, listen to them and try to understand what they want to say, be at their position for a while or try being in their shoes for a moment and then think what is actually being told you.
Never point out the negative things in somebody’s conversation, if you feel that there is something which needs to be corrected than just wait for them to totally complete it and then give your suggestions or advice in a humble and not by pinpointing towards them and hurting them for expressing their feelings in front of you.
3. Avoid comparing your situation with others – It may seem good to compare the situations to help him/her find a better way of dealing with their problems, it may be true to some extent, but in some situation, it may ruin the conversation, the situation totally and cannot be same as yours, so never compare somebody else’s situations or circumstances to yours.
4. Express your feelings as they are – When you want relations with people to be happy and healthy, just don’t keep your feelings in your heart, tell them as they are and be open to your people. When you try understanding people, the most important is being true from both the sides and expressing the same way as they are.
5. Offer help and support to your people – when you understand people, you know it well when they need somebody with whom they can share their heartfelt feelings and that they might be heavy-hearted so you have to stay with them at that point ask them for their things and be polite and genuine to them, make them feel that they are not lonely for once and they have you.
6. Be polite and loving to people – It takes time for people to trust you and share details of them with you, let them take time, let them confess it on their own so that they feel the connection from you by heart and not just telling you things because you forced them to, this is the best way you can understand them when you love them they will automatically love you back and share their feelings with you.
After figuring out the answer to ‘How can we understand people?’, you should know how to be a good friend. Here’s what you should do.
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