HOW TO START TRUSTING PEOPLE?
When someone you love lets you down, it is deeply unsettling and a lot of people find it difficult to trust people again. The trust that was broken by one person starts influencing your decision making with everybody. It is okay if you don’t trust people immediately after being let down, but it is also important for you to eventually learn how to trust people.
Trusting people can be tricky when people put on different masks in front of people. But almost always your reaction to being let down is always influenced by what happened in your childhood.
No matter what happens, we should always have a positive mindset. Here’s what you need to do to have a positive mindset.
If in your childhood, you found people whom you could trust and be comfortable with after being let down by someone, it will be easier for you to move on and trust someone else when you’re an adult. But if you had a childhood where after being let down by someone, you couldn’t find anyone whom you could trust and rely upon, then this pattern continues into your adulthood, and people like these find it very difficult to trust again.
Some people find it hard to trust people because they are afraid that people will think they are fake, or people will see the real person and reject them. Starting to trust someone may seem easy but it isn’t.
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In your mind, you know that not all people are bad and that some people can be trusted, but your heart doesn’t let you settle on this thought. Every time you begin to start trusting someone, your heart sends you a notification reminding you of the person who let you down.
Sometimes all you need to start trusting someone is doing a trust fall. Not literally, but imagine closing your eyes and leaning back, you know that you will fall but you are allowing someone to catch you while doing so. Even if they don’t catch you properly, you can get back up and try again.
It is also important not to be afraid that people might hurt you. Here’s what you need to do to overcome the fear of someone hurting you.
Here are 8 great ways which allow you to start trusting people again – how to start trusting people:
Stay in one place – The easiest way to get someone who let you down out of your life is to move away from them. Moving away from them to another city may seem good at first but you will just be postponing the heartache.
Instead, if a person lets you down, stay there, it might be difficult at first but staying there and establishing yourself right there, and then start getting to know more people and figure out whom you can trust and whom you can’t.
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Give yourself a routine – Once you’ve calmed down after being let down, and finished settling down, give yourself a routine. Giving yourself a routine will give you something to look forward to. Also the key to trusting someone is repetition. Seeing the same faces in a routine will allow us to start trusting people again.
Give a little, and see what you get – Once you have established a routine where you meet a set of people, reveal little things about yourself and observe their reaction to it and also what interesting things they tell you in response to that. Doing this will allow you to choose whom you trust and rely upon in difficult times. This is also one of the best ways to know if you can trust a person.
Make plans for the future – The trauma of your trust being broken by someone doesn’t just shake your trust in people but also the trust you have in your future. Making plans for the future will set you in a positive mindset and you will be optimistic for something in the future.
Being let down by one person breaks your spirit and you think you will never love again or have a successful career or have children with someone you love, but trauma experts have identified this as a ‘sense of foreshortened future’. Making plans for the future will abolish this sense of foreshortened failure. The feeling of hopelessness goes away and you begin to start trusting yourself, your plan for your future and also the people around you.
Trust an animal – Trusting an animal can do wonders to the human psyche. A study asked 165 pet owners to note down their plans for the future and rate how confident they felt achieving their goals.
1/3rd of them had their pet with them, 1/3rd of them were asked to describe their pets before doing the task and the last 1/3rd of them did not have their pets around when they did the task. It was seen that the people with their pets or people who thought about their pets had a significantly more positive outlook on their plans for the future and also that they had rated their chances of getting there also better than those who didn’t have their pets around.
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Be trustworthy – Seeing yourself as someone trustworthy will help you spot similar traits in people. Always follow through on your obligations. Help people close to you also follow through on their obligations. When people see how trustworthy you are, they also will be obliged not to break your trust.
Actively look for trustworthy behaviour – Once you’ve established yourself as a trustworthy person, and know what the credentials needed to be called trustworthy are, you should actively look for trustworthy people and notice trustworthy behaviour. Looking for trustworthy behaviour will also fill you with optimism and this will give you hope for a better future.
Grow the belief that you deserve to be around trustworthy people – When someone you consider very important in your life breaks your trust, this kills the belief that you deserve someone good. You need to reclaim this feeling that you deserve to be surrounded by trustworthy people. The world is a dangerous place but you need to have patience and find the right people that float your boat.
Following these 8 simple steps will make you more confident and will allow you to truly know who your friends are and if you can trust them.
Even if people let you down after this, it is important to never lose hope and to always be optimistic for the future.
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To start trusting people we must have good attitude and character. If you want to build a good attitude and character in yourself then you can read one book “winning with people” by john maxwell and you can buy it here: