If you are feeling disappointed then you have landed to the right article which can help you in dealing with disappointment.
Failures and disappointments are unavoidable however complex and
challenging facets of life. All of us face times when with our best efforts,
we do not accomplish our goals. To be disappointed is to feel discharged
and a little defeated. You thought anything to work for you, but sadly,
things didn’t go the way you wanted.
You went for an interview but you failed, you failed in your exam, you were dumped by your partner, you are in a huge loss in business, you are in debts, your health is deteriorating day by day, you have family issues, you have money issues, expectations of your parents is too high, etc. These all of the things bring disappointment in life. You have worked towards it but you could not achieve the result as expected.
These disappointments are challenging emotions because all the new experiences lead to disappointment mostly, as it is new we hardly achieve as per our expectation. Often there is rapid frustration because of non achievement. Often disappointments are very gigantic and hard to bear. Many a times they prove to be life-changing also. There are then those who are tiny, irritating, or just cringing.
If we have not achieved something and feeling disappointed and in the meantime, tough times around the world add to our daily stressors and can increase our exposure to negative news like the corona virus situation around the globe.
It is particularly true when several disappointments are encountered for a short time they are very harmful to our mind and body. As a consequence, depressive feelings and other deteriorating emotions appear to overtake them.
Disappointment is a very complex thing. It includes a bunch of emotions, like rage, hurt, sorrow, and sometimes too complex to identify because it comes out as mix of many negative emotions. Such feelings are often easier to manage by themselves and we some how manage ourselves but frustration is a negative emotion which can leave us feeling alone & broken.
You might not know whether you are feeling irritated or just want to get over it impatiently. Disappointment will linger around you like a shadow. It will show you a gray view of life, even though you want to forget.
There was a time when I was feeling disappointed. But they say “When life gives lemon, make a lemonade.” So I worked upon myself and got rid of feeling disappointed.
If you are feeling disappointed then you can apply these ways for overcoming disappointment:
First way of dealing with disappointment if you are feeling disappointed is Accept your situation-
Acceptance is very important because to get out of the situation you
need to know first that what your situation is. If you are denying the fact
then how are you going to overcome the situation in which you are? It’s
also necessary because you can create a lot of issues throughout your life,
if you don’t recognize yourself for who you are actually and what exactly
your situation is then you will not be able to think about the solution as problem only is not defined.
Some of these things impact you internally, and others affect the way people think about you. Many are stuck in not knowing who they are and what their condition is. They just want to be like
“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the
consequences of any misfortune” – Professor William James (The Father
of Applied Psychology)
Second way of dealing with disappointment if you are feeling disappointed is to Write down about your problem or failure on a paper-
I have mentioned about Thomas Alva Edison before also. He used to
write his problems in a diary. Around two thousand notebooks were
found after his death which was full of problems.
“A problem well stated is a problem half solved.” –Charles Kettering
Writing your problem will open your mind & you can see the clear
picture of your problem & disappointment. Just because of writing your
problem you can see the whole picture. This picture is your rescue
ranger. Once the things are in front, you can evaluate yourself & self-
introspect which will help you in dealing with disappointment.
Third way of dealing with disappointment if you are feeling disappointed is to Write down your expectations on the same page-
It is harmless to guess how we want to go. Hey…! Expectations can
seem harmless but not always, For example, low expectations can
lead to life losses, opportunity loss or other people exploiting you, and high expectations may make you overly optimistic. This can lead to a catastrophe. You should keep your standards high, not your expectations.
In a world based on achievement and ambition, you get disappointed when you don’t live up to your expectations. When you will write your expectation then think for a minute. Ask yourself all questions which come to your mind.
“Am I expecting too much?” “Am i expecting too less?” “Is my expectation is as per my capability?”
“If not then What can I do about it?”
“Can I change my past?” “Can I change my future?”
“What can I do now?”
“Is this the end?”
Fourth way of dealing with disappointment if you are feeling disappointed is to Write the answers to all questions-
These questions are the confusions because of which we are feeling disappointed in your mind. It is said that when you express your
feelings then half of your load disappears. Some people share their
feelings with friends, some with their better halves, some with mother,
some with father, and some with siblings but when someone shares his
or her feeling with a notebook then it also works like that only. These
notebooks never judge & never have expectations. After writing you’ll feel a little bit lighter.
Answering these questions will help you in overcoming disappointment because most of the time the problem is with expectations. Either it is too low or it is too high. If you have not achieved something and then evaluating your expectation itself will encourage you to learn and grow. This is where the attitude of learning starts. If you want to enjoy learning then you can watch this video: How to enjoy learning.
If you want to grow your attitude and character then i have a very good book to suggest you by John Maxwell “winning with people” you can buy that book at Winning with people
Fifth way of dealing with disappointment if you are feeling disappointed is to Read that page again & again & think about your expectations-
If you’ll read that page you will get to know problems in your strategy.
This will help you in understanding your shortcomings. Face the fact
that the real reason for your disappointment is you. We must take up the responsibility of our failure. If you want to learn this in detail then you can watch: How to take responsibility and be successful. Embrace the fact &
move on with a positive message. The idea of reading again & again is
explained by this famous story. This story was forwarded to me:
“Aman was sad & was feeling disappointed. He was dumped by his girlfriend recently. Aman’s brother Raman saw this & promised to himself
that he will do something. The next day Raman told an awesome joke to Aman. Aman laughed very hard. Raman again told that joke. Again Aman laughed, but not as hard as it was before. Raman again told that joke. Aman just smiled. Aman was confused now why is he telling the same joke again & again. Raman told the joke again. This time Aman didn’t laugh.
thought that this joke is now irritating him. Raman asked why you are not laughing. Then Aman said ‘because you told these jokes several times & now nothing is left in this joke. It is now boring for me.’ Raman then explained ‘If you don’t like to laugh on one joke again & again then why are you crying on the same failure again & again?’ This changed Aman & he promised that he will not cry for her again.”
The moral of the story is don’t cry for the same thing twice. Reading again & again will lead you through the same process. After reading two to three times you will feel that your sadness & disappointment was nothing. You were living in that disappointment without any reason. You can swim out of this whirlpool of disappointment easily. You will understand that you have just fall short of your expectation and you must work on improving yourself and must try again to achieve it.
Failure is just falling short of your target. Either we can change the target as our capability or we can keep higher target and work on improving our capability to achieve it. After reading it again and again we will get an understanding that it is useless to cry on what not achieved. We just have to think about the learning we got while trying it and lets set our target right and put efforts to improve ourselves to achieve it.
What about the expectations then which u had set?
High expectations are not always fulfilled. As we know that human is a
greedy creature by nature hence, its expectations are always high. This expectation becomes a disappointment when you fail in your action. So
if you want to survive this disappointment then you have to mull upon
your level of expectation from others & from yourself. If our expectation is high then we must have capability to achieve it. If we didnt achieve the expected result it means that we have to work on ourselves.
If you really want to keep the same high expectation then you have to work on increasing your capabilities. You can also read this article: how to stick to target and achieve it. This short story of sharpening your axe will also help.
If you had set lower expectation from yourself and lost an opportunity to achieve something then build a positive self image and set higher targets. You can do this be thinking positive and developing positive thinking. You can learn that by : How to develop positive thinking.
Sixth way of dealing with disappointment if you are feeling disappointed is to Make yourself busy in the work which you like-
If you are still not able to come out of feeling disappointed then indulge yourself in the work which you like that work as diverting your mind. Busy people are most likely to stay away from sadness & disappoints. When a person is busy he gets certain benefits like his skills get developed, he is away from a nervous breakdown, he is away from emotional breakdown, and he is away from a mental breakdown.
When you are busy & you love your work you will rarely fail & you will always stay positive. Hence, you will stay away from disappointment.
This could be a way of always remain happy and never be disappointed if you work what you like. You see all the great individual had failed lot of time but they were very happy and were never disappointed because they used to love what they were doing.
Seventh way of dealing with disappointment if you are feeling disappointed is to grow yourself holistically
Take care of yourself & do regular exercise. Meditation will help you a lot. Stop complaining. Complaining is part and parcel of foolishness. Avoid “Why it happened to me?” norm Bad traffic, rain, no tea or coffee, etc are the things for which you complain daily. These complaints make your mindset negative. You never would be an optimist in that sense.
Try to start your day with a smile and talk to the people who work in your space. A little stiff, but it’s pleasing for you! Don’t fall into the trap of negativity. Whatever happens, stay calm & positive. You don’t have any control over the things which are happening around you. Remember Murphy’s Law, “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible time, all at once, when you least expect it.” So spiritually results are not in our control we can only control our actions. So focus on what you have to do and leave the result on god.
To grow your attitude and character you can watch my videos on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYGdbB_F0qii4Zo_rn-rCyg/videos?view_as=subscriber
I also post regularly on my facebook page some motivational text and videos : https://www.facebook.com/pg/betterworldsjp/videos/?ref=page_internal
Now what to do to achieve our expectations so that we dont have to deal with feeling disappointed: You must take into account what could possibly go wrong when working on your goals in order to eliminate potential disappointments. In order to reduce the chance of future errors and mistake you should make good plans. Obviously, this is not the perfect plan. However, in the face of potential catastrophe, it can definitely help you make better decisions. It can help you to save yourself from unnecessary expectations & disappointments. You can also watch this video on how to achieve target.
Try to do what you like in that case achieving expectation become easier. As we can only perform and result is not in our control so we must not keep any expectation as it is not in our control we must work and leave the result to god. “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope
If you think you can add anything in this article then you can mention that into comment and i will consider it.
After reading how to deal with disappointment you would definitely want to read how to overcome fear of failure: https://sudarshanpurohit.com/overcoming-fear-of-failure/