How to be Happy after a Breakup
Breakups are incredibly difficult. If you’ve just broken up with someone you care about, you may feel sad, angry, lost, or scared. The good news is that these feelings won’t last forever. After the breakup, give yourself some time and space to process your grief. When you’re ready, use the wisdom and experience you gained from the relationship to move forward with your life. Take time to reconnect with things that brought you joy before the breakup, and look for new forms of fulfilment as well.
Getting back to life after learning how to be happy after a breakup can be tricky, but here’s what you should look for in a suitable partner.
Here are some things you can do to help yourself cope and heal:
1. Focus on yourself now – Perhaps when you were in a relationship, it was always about selflessness and conquering life as a team, but now it’s time to be a little selfish and independent. All that matters now is you and what you deserve.
Don’t try to force yourself to move on or “get over it” before you are ready. No matter what the circumstances of the breakup were, you’ve experienced a loss, and it’s natural to have a lot of feelings to work through. Choose to excel more in school, get into sports or get a new hair color anything, as long as it’s for your own happiness and well being.
After learning how to be happy after a breakup, you should learn how to be focused. Here’s what you should do.
2. Distance yourself from the source of hurt – It’s probably best to cut all sorts of contact with them after the breakup. He/she is the source of hurt and you have to stay as far away from that as possible. Some people also think that you can stay friends after the breakup, no, you can’t, at least not right now.
It isn’t impossible but probably just not in the near future. Your relationship was damaged and the trust was broken the moment they chose to abandon you, and both of you need to heal before you can give even friendship another go.
Learning how to be happy after a breakup will also teach you to be comfortable with yourself and your body. Here’s what you should do to respect your body.
3. Try looking at the brighter side of things – I know it’s always easier said than done, but there’s always a good side to every bad event. The breakup could be a blessing in disguise. “God wrecks our plans when he sees that our plans can wreck us.” You are young, beautiful, and free, don’t let one little bump along the road keep you from living your life to the fullest.
Appreciate the people around you who don’t make you a thousand promises but value you enough to always stay. Make time for your family and friends who love you unconditionally. Join more organizations, focus on your goals, and make new plans for the future. Travelling helps a ton! Think of it as a learning experience and come out a better person
Instead of learning how to be happy after a breakup, one should learn how to avoid the circumstance for a breakup. Here’s what you should do to avoid arguments with your partner.
4. Tell yourself that what you are feeling is temporary – It may be hard to imagine right now, but you will not feel this way forever. Think of your sadness about the breakup as an injury that is healing. It will hurt for a while and the pain may be worse some days than others, but the hurt will eventually fade.
The amount of time it takes to move beyond a breakup varies from one person (and breakup) to another. Just take it one day at a time. You might also blame your partner for what happened, especially if they broke up with you. Remind yourself that it’s probably for the best that they let you go since you’re now free to find someone who’s a better match for you (if that’s what you want).
5. Stop blaming yourself – It’s not your fault. No relationship is perfect and there’s no use dwelling over the things you could have or should have done to save it. If you fought until the very end to keep it alive, then you should be proud of yourself.
You held your part of the bargain and you didn’t let go even when you had all the freedom to. Bear in mind that if the other person isn’t willing to compromise or work it out anymore then there’s no point in staying. I know that you may feel like wallowing in self-pity because of getting left behind, but know that you will never have to live with the feeling of guilt or regret because of giving up too easily.
After learning how to be happy after a breakup, one should learn how to be self-confident.
Yes, it’s sad, especially when you think about all the promises and plans you made together, but maybe one day you’ll learn why the relationship didn’t work out and find that something better was in store for you all along.
6. Replace negative thoughts with more realistic one – When you hear that negative or self-critical voice inside your head, stop and ask yourself, “Is that thought realistic? Is it helpful? Is it something I would say to a good friend?” If the answer to any of those questions is “no,” replace the thought with something more realistic and constructive.
This way, you can help your unhappy brain make the transition to positive thinking. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “Nobody will ever love me as Bert did. I’ll be alone forever,” replace that thought with something like, “What I had with Bert was great in a lot of ways, but we broke up for a reason. I’m going to try and make the most of being single for now and see what happens next.”
Learning how to be happy after a breakup will lead you to set high standards for yourself. Here’s how you should do it.
7. Let the emotions flow, but don’t let the breakup consume you – One of my mistakes, when I was grieving, was that I let it consume me for a while when I shouldn’t have. I learned a couple of vices, I would do things that weren’t good for my physical health, and I could’ve done way better with my academics.
I really felt bad about it after seeing what it did to me. It is okay to feel all the hurt, but you have to remember to pick yourself up every time. Don’t let it get the best of you. Try articulating your feelings in a nourishing way through writing or music. Some also say new hobbies and sports helped them channel their hurt better and get over it faster.
If you have still not learnt how to be happy after a breakup, you should learn how to deal with disappointment first. Here’s how to deal with disappointment.
8. Look at the relationship as a learning experience – Once you’ve had some time and distance from the relationship, take time to think about it from a wiser and more objective point of view. Think about how to use your experiences, both good and bad, to help you in future relationships or even in your life as a single person.
For example, maybe you’ve picked up on some red flags to avoid in future potential partners. You might also think of ways you can improve your own behaviour in relationships going forward. It might help to make a list of what things were good and bad about the relationship.
Think about specific changes you might make based on your insights. After some reflection, you might even decide that you prefer being single for now, and that’s perfectly valid! Don’t let anyone pressure you into looking for a new relationship if you don’t want one.
9. Acknowledge how you feel without judgment – Whenever you feel really overwhelmed or down, find a quiet place to sit and just allow yourself to feel. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and mindfully make note of the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations you are experiencing. Don’t criticize or analyze what you’re thinking and feeling just recognize it.
For example, you might think to yourself, “I’m thinking about Madeline again. There’s a knot in my upper back. I feel so sad”. Release your feelings in a healthy way, such as by crying or talking to a friend. You might also find it helpful to write down what you are feeling or express it through art or music.
You can even write a letter to your ex pouring out all your feelings. Being mindful of your feelings and being able to identify them can help them feel less overwhelming.
10. Work on achieving some personal goals – Think about things you’ve always wanted to accomplish, or set some new goals for yourself and create a realistic plan to work on them. It’s easy to put your personal goals and ambitions aside while you’re caught up in a relationship, so now is the perfect time to start working on them.
Working on your goals can help boost your confidence, give you something to focus on aside from the breakup, and remind you of who you are as an individual. Your goals don’t need to be anything big or grandiose. You could start with simple things like reorganizing your desk or taking a 15-minute walk every day. Keep a list of your daily accomplishments, and remember to reward yourself when you meet a goal.
In this article, we talked about the breakup, we also talked about the ways you can do to help yourself to cope and heal from break up. So what are you waiting for? Go and try these ways in your daily life to release the stress of your breakup.
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