How to move on in Life?
Memories, teachings and experiences, life has so much for us at every step yet we all, at some point, feel let down. Being humans we have the tendency to ‘maintain our problems’ rather than thinking that there is a way to make everything work for us. It’s sad that there are times when we have to let go and move on. It is true not only for romantic relationships but in friendships, professional relationships and other life situations as well.
Then again the question arises, how? How do you forget your past and move on so easily? Or how do you focus more on your present? It’s not very easy but it’s not impossible as well. You need to understand that your past, whether good or bad, is just an experience and there is always an emotion attached to it, be it happy or sad. You don’t want to get rid of your past but the emotion that is attached to it aches. All it needs is time and focus. So, how do we do it, let’s be practical and start off? Here are the five simple steps to brush off your past and move on in life:
First things first, counter statements are the key. If something aches so much that it affects your mental health adversely just stop and think for a while. Is this thing that is largely affecting your present really important? And is this a good way to live? And how’s that working for you? Also, you should learn to ask yourself most importantly ‘what do I do that causes (or allows) people to treat me this way? There’s always the better answer to the one who asks a more eloquent question.
Antony Robbins, an American author, coach, speaker and philanthropist quotes, “successful people ask better questions and as a result, they get better answers”. You have to learn to dispute with every passing thought in your mind and brush off the negative beliefs that hold you back. By controlling your focus, you can control your mind and feed it only with positivity. Holding it tight put your feet on the next step toward a happier life.
Affirmations, self-talk and such others, everyone is preaching about them, but only a few know the right way to practice self-talk and find out affirmations needed for you. Let me tell you something that will leave you wide-eyed. You will be amazed to know that if you ever sit calmly and try to listen to your own mind’s conversation in isolation and make a note of whatever runs through your mind, you will find out that 90% of your conversation are purely negative, 5% neutral and the remaining 5percent positive ( isn’t that quite less? ).
The words you choose while talking to yourself will rationally determine how you feel. Don’t let your mind dwell on anything that doesn’t bring you joy. Reduce negative self-talk and make sure to use the language that makes you feel fantastic and that’s the key. Let me tell you through an example, if you had a bummer and you felt it as ‘unbearable’ you should tell your brain that it was ‘just hard’ and that you can handle it (sounds less stressful, right?). Likewise, if you ever feel upset, teach your brain that it’s ‘challenging’ and you will find a way out. So, now that you have lessened your brain’s stress let’s move further.
If you are feeling light after this step let’s broaden our vision and mind and try to look at things with a different perspective now. Keep in mind, “Nothing is either good or bad… but thinking makes it so”. Our emotions are just the body’s reaction to our thoughts. If you think that you have been in a tough situation and it has only been worse since then take a pause and think, hasn’t it taught you something new? Hasn’t that made you a stronger person? And hasn’t that let you allow new opportunities in life?
We all know that from adversity comes the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit but when it comes to applying the same in real-life situations most of us fail because we are so absorbed by the pain. You now this so now you have to master this. Next time you face something like this shift your focus from the adversity to the opportunity and see yourself feeling fantastic.
Physiology and emotion are quite connected. If you succeed in changing your mind you can change your body and if you succeed in changing your body you can change your mind. It all goes like a cycle your brain listens to everything you say, reacts to whatever you do and believes whatever you serve it with. It doesn’t exactly know what emotions are to be attached to a particular situation.
It is we who have related a particular feeling to a particular situation and that is what we have to change a little. Our brain is always asking two questions, what does this mean? And what should I do about it? I have heard a beautiful answer to this, “If you feed your fear, your faith will die… if you feed your faith, your fear will die.” So now you know what you have to serve your brain to get out of your bummers.
Also allowing space for some good practices in life like meditation, yoga, some mind soothing activities or hobbies and helping others will help you focus on the right things and keep yourself calm. Your mind will get more time to heal and it could make space for more positive experiences in your life.
All the steps that are mentioned here are the process of cleaning and banning negativity from your life and move on easily. Now that you know why things happened in your life and how had those helped you evolve into what you are today, let’s go for the final miracle. It is to skip on the repeat mode. Refrain from playing those memories again and again in your head.
Every time it pops, a dispute with it by telling the things you learnt from your situation and also that there is no room for negativity in your head. Tell your brain that it was just like any other lesson as life never stops teaching us. Sooner you will realize that you are becoming stronger and things are changing well.
Along with all the steps that you have taken for your positive life ahead you need to change the environment you are living in. Don’t let yourself be surrounded by people who try to fill you with negativity. Tell them that you have worked hard to get yourself out of your situation and you are not allowing any unwanted thoughts to enter your mind.
Find a circle that has compassion for you and keep yourself around them. Make a playlist of songs that charges you up and listen to it every time you feel disturbed. Develop a habit of writing thoughts. This will help you to keep a watch on the negative thoughts as they try to enter your mind. Find your affirmations, write it beautifully and stick it on a wall. Read it to yourself every morning as you wake up and remind yourself that this is what you want in life.
Besides food and money, good mental health should also be a part of our primary needs but people barely realize its importance and when it comes to face challenging life situations most of us break and it slowly affects everything we do. All we need to understand is that “acceptance is the key to success”. You can only fight from your mental stress only when you start accepting that everything happening is an outcome of your own actions and it has something valuable for us even if it seems challenging.
Filter your emotions wisely and keep them in different boxes of positivity and negativity. This will help you understand what you really need and what things you should let loose. Shower everyone with kindness and love as it would radically charge the positive vibrations in you and you will feel much energy to brush off the negativity. Lastly, always remember that if you never had to face a difficult time you will never succeed.
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