OVERCOMING REJECTION
Rejection, loss and failures are all the spices that add up to the perfect recipe for the curry of life. These are inevitable and everyone has to face being dejected in due course. Rejection, the feeling of being deprived of something can particularly have strong effects on an individual. Rejections lie on both professional and personal grounds.
It often feels personal that you weren’t good enough for someone or something. However, rejection isn’t the end of the street but just an obstacle on the path. Rejections are often accompanied by feeling like a failure, self-doubt, lack of ambition and motivation. It sets off a wave of humdrum that ripples and tips over other emotions.
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The downcast of being rejected, the feeling of sorrow being carried forward makes it harder for an individual to grow. Rejections not faced pile up into negative emotions and thoughts about oneself. Often times converted to a fear of rejection, it holds you back from making life-changing decisions.
Mental health issues like social anxiety, anger issues and depression can be the cognitive effects of strong rejection. Sometimes, emotional pain sets off physical pain in the body (e.g., headaches, feeling your heart drop, uneasiness, etc).
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Negative feelings can upset the physical health of the human body. Overcoming rejection, moving forward and learning from the experience, boost you up on the path to success. It is necessary that one gets hold of these negative emotions that disturbs the kosher functioning of oneself.
Rejections are unpredictable and no one gets immunity from them. Rejections in personal relationships can be shattering and can leave you feeling lonely and crushing self-doubt. Rejections in a professional or work-based environment can often lead to feeling unmotivated to try and move forward with new ideas and builds a barrier that holds you back from taking risks.
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Both feel discouraging and periodically changes over to a dread of dismissal, it keeps you away from settling on groundbreaking choices. Encounters with rejections are difficult. Now and again they can be aggravated by the conduct of others and how we even talk about it socially. Be that as it may, going to how you are contemplating and disguising the experience can help reduce adverse individual sentiments.
It is very important to understand that you do not control the situation. Rejections are always due to external factors that you have no control over and blaming yourself is worthless. This is the first step to dealing with rejections- to steer clear of self-accusation.
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When faced with a rejection, it is crucial to assess oneself and look out for any negative feelings it might have caused that is worrisome. Some usual signs are-
- Over-generalizing – thinking something is true “always” or “all over the place,” based on limited experiences
- Personalization – assuming fault or liability for any occasion, even when it was not under the individual’s control
- Labelling – appending a worth judgment or “label” to oneself, after a negative encounter
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Rejections should be dealt with like fresh wounds. Healing can’t be rushed or predicted. The first step is to listen to the pain and recognize where you are wounded. It is important to clean up the mess around the wound and prevent it from spreading to other parts. Medicating the wound is immediate but letting the medicine take its time to work its magic is the key to healing the pain and the wound.
Similarly, rejections have to be accepted and seen as an opportunity to grow but should be prevented from turning into bitter feelings. As important as it is to feel the sorrow and dejection, it is equally important to take your time off to deal with these emotions.
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Attempting to drive positive thinking or to push ahead when you are still in passionate unrest or a bit shocked, generally don’t work that well. So first set aside some time to deal with the contemplations and sentiments that emerge when you’ve been rejected.
The medicine to rejection can be surrounding yourself with supportive and encouraging people and work that will help you improve and help find the motivation or it can be a small break from work and a solo vacation to the beach and cooling off in the hot sun.
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Negative emotions have to be dealt with in a subjective and personal manner suitable to oneself. During this healing period, self-talk and self-assurance are vital to build oneself back up and avoid doubts about not being ‘good enough’.
Not dealing with rejections personally but viewing it as an area of improvement is effective to stay positive. Be optimistic and don’t let rejections crush your hopes of something better in the future. Reflect on the experience and learn what it has to offer.
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Do not run away from experiencing the lows that follow a rejection or avoid it by not giving yourself enough time to process it. In the event that you then again attempt to push it all away, the emotions tend to spring up at unexpected occasions and can make you surly, irate or sceptical.
Worse so, ill-disposed, these emotions can change form into other negative emotions leading up to social anxiety, chronic self-doubt, low self-esteem and depression. Not dealing with this can affect your inter-personal relationships with others who have no connection to the event as well.
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However, while taking your time to heal, shift your focus on to more important and positive things in life. Don’t stall out in dwelling and in hauling yourself down into an expanse of self-criticism and cynicism.
All things considered, move your concentration to what you in reality have in your life. The people, the interests or hobbies, the occasionally underestimated things like a roof over your head and that you don’t need to go to sleep hungry. Recognizing the blessings in life and gratitude encourages you to put what occurred into perspective and to not allow it to overpower your emotions.
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Try to shift the point of view of the whole experience and evaluate it from an external view. This helps remove the focus on oneself and encourages all-round assessment. Often times this can help understand why the blame does not fall on the individual facing rejection.
It is also crucial to take care of yourself physically. Some people opt for exercising and staying healthy and active while some choose to eat ice cream, watch movies and rest. These are subjective but necessary that you do what makes you happy. Dedicate your time to everything that boosts your confidence and helps build self-esteem.
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Talk to yourself and only concentrate on being constructive. The feeling of self-doubt can be incredibly invalidating. It is common for an individual to look for validation while faced with rejection. It is essential to seek authentic means of validation and not give in to self-sabotage.
Discover something you are enthusiastic about — drawing, music, photography, sports — and participate in that activity. Engaging in a passion is a delightful method to ground yourself while strengthening the way that you are and reinforcing the fact that you are deserving of affection, appreciation and care.
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There are several books, journals, articles and blogs to read to help you get through tough times. Reading can be helpful in understanding the normalcy of rejections and how often most other people go through similar situations. The relativity can help ease the harshness of the situation. It can also help find a way out of the misery by knowing others’ experiences and how they dealt with the same.
Overcoming rejection can be a curvy road with several ups and downs. Take control of the steering wheel while on this road but it is also okay to seek help in case you haven’t learnt driving yet. It is vital to shut out your inner critic. That voice inside you that is blaming ‘you’ for everything is another form of self-sabotaging to look out for. Do not keep it all to yourself and bottle it up. Instead, let it out to a trusted peer.
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Conversing with somebody about your feelings can help you with assessing them better. Talk to someone who can assist you in evaluating it better. Sometimes family and friends might not have the right words or advice to help you with the rough parts of rejection. Your loved ones probably won’t have the correct words or guidance to assist you with the unpleasant pieces of dismissal.
Seeking out professional help in these circumstances is the most ideal choice accessible. Counsellors, therapists, and other support services are available for short- or long-term assistance to help people heal. It is totally okay to seek out this kind of help if you need it.
The most important deed after a rejection is to keep going. To not give the negative outcomes of rejection, the power to hold you back from growth. Give the wounds enough to time to heal but do not get accustomed to the pain.
Do not dwell on what happened to change and fix itself. Process what happened, learn what you can and move on. Emphasis on what you still got in life (that many others don’t have), on what you can perhaps do better and focus your attention on yourself. Take steps that move you forward and continue to push ahead.
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